by Steve Liddick

Have you ever wondered why there are stickers on fruit sold in supermarkets? Those usually include the name of the company that sold the fruit to the grocery chain, along with a picture of the item, itself. I mean, it’s pretty obvious that a banana is a banana and a pear is a pear without attaching a picture of it to tell you what it is sticking on.

The fruit was probably grown by some poor farmer, possibly in a third world country, who invested money and labor, risked pests, drought, fire, and the wrath of God to grow what sits in a basket in your kitchen or dining room. Then the middleman came along and took ownership, slapped a sticker on the fruit, and shipped it to market.

I have several objections to the practice. Objection 1: I don’t need to be told what is so obvious. Objection 2: I don’t care who caused said fruit to get it to my supermarket. Objection 3: It’s almost impossible to get the #^%*@* sticker off the fruit.

Pardon my language.

Years ago, when I worked at a Los Angeles radio station I wondered aloud in a newscast why the U.S. Postal Service used a glue on the back of stamps that ensured that the stamp would come off if even slightly moistened while in transit. I suggested that postal officials should consider partnering with the creators of bumper stickers so they could make stamps that would stay stuck. Those #^%*@* bumper stickers never come off.

I apologize if there are any church ladies around..

Years later the postal service, whether having heard of my suggestion or simply put two-and-glue together on their own and adopted the bumper sticker idea with their stamps.

We all know that government is slow to act, if it acts at all. But you have to wonder why it took them centuries to realize the need to improve their stickum.

I leave you with this suggestion: Never put a U.S. Postal Service stamp on your vehicle’s bumper because those #^%*@* things will never come off.